All the other major holidays are well represented in the horror genre – Christmas, New Years Eve, Halloween, Valentine’s Day, and even birthdays. There aren’t many Thanksgiving movies in any genre, really… but if you think about it, Thanksgiving is second only to Halloween as a natural holiday for horror movies.
For starters, Thanksgiving is a holiday celebrating the arrival of English religious fundamentalists and their subsequent bloody conquest of the New World. And there’s something about Thanksgiving that often causes well-intentioned family gatherings to take a dark turn. Tense interpersonal relationships go head-to-head at the dinner table, particularly when politics becomes a blood sport.
Plus, if you look at it from the turkey’s point of view, the main attraction of the Thanksgiving table is typically a large flightless bird that has been decapitated, gutted, and had handfuls of bread stuffed down its neck hole. In my opinion, there’s plenty of material here for horror films.
So why not start a new tradition this year? Instead of watching yet another boring football game, a stupid parade, or the 377th rerun of It’s a Wonderful Life (so far this year), why not gather your loved ones around the TV and share some family bonding time over blood splatters and giant mutant turkey puppets?
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First, let’s start with a little amuse-bouche:
Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving (2007)
Not really a movie per se, but a faux trailer made by Eli Roth for his buddies Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino for their underrated collaboration, Grindhouse (2007). Thanksgiving delivers a lot of gory guilty pleasure in its brief 2½ minute run time, including multiple decapitations and delicious one-liners delivered in a growly monotone narration – for example, “Prepare to have the stuffing scared out of you!” and “White meat… dark meat… all will be carved!”
For 10 years now, there have been rumors that Eli Roth will make this trailer into a feature film. In fact, it’s what I wish for every Christmas.
ThanksKilling (2009)
The star of this movie is a fowl-mouthed (ha ha) evil monster turkey demon (creatively named “Turkie”) who kills everyone while dropping terrible one-liners. Talk about low budget… this movie was actually made for $3500. (That is not a typo.) Turkie is portrayed by a cheesy hand puppet, but that doesn’t stop him from becoming the breakout star of this unforgettable holiday classic.
You can’t claim to be shocked by ThanksKilling… one look at the DVD cover, and your expectations should be set. No other movie has ever boasted – and delivered on – the phrase “Warning! Boobs in the first second!” on the DVD cover. (Pilgrim boobs, even.)
That is, no other movie until…
ThanksKilling 3 (2012)
That’s right. Despite the fact that no one wanted one, they made a sequel. The people who gave us the original ThanksKilling did a Kickstarter campaign, so now Turkie is back with a bigger budget and weirder characters, like his friend and ThanksKilling 2 costar, Rhonda, the Bisexual Space Worm. (Yes, you read that correctly.) And don’t worry about missing ThanksKilling 2 – it doesn’t exist. They thought this would be funny, which tells you all you need to know about the movie.
It does have some jaw-dropping moments of its own, but sadly, it doesn’t compare to the sheer audacity and snark of the first movie. It may be worth a look if you have an hour or so to waste, possibly preferable to watching a Hallmark Channel movie with Grandma.
Blood Freak (1972)
Where do I begin to describe this movie, a hybrid of Reefer Madness, Dracula, and Birdemic? It’s part anti-drug Afterschool Special and part barf-inducing, buckets-of-gore grindhouse blowout. Vietnam Vet and biker Herschell (named for gore filmmaker Herschell Gordon Lewis!) is lured into the world of killer weed by a bad hippie chick. Her dad, who happens to be a mad scientist with a turkey farm, takes advantage to turn him into a turkey-headed blood drinking monster.
There’s a heavy-handed “Drugs are bad, kids” message throughout. The movie is so out of control, it’s as if Ed Wood took a lot of PCP and got into grindhouse. My only complaint is that they could tried harder to make the title a bit more turkey-centric.
Home Sweet Home (1981)
There must be something about Thanksgiving that makes people want to take drugs and go on a killing spree. This one is about a psycho killer who escapes from the asylum on Thanksgiving and creatively murders a whole bunch of people. Other than the big turkey on the dining room table, this movie doesn’t really have much to do with Thanksgiving. Maybe they could have had the psycho killer dress up like a pilgrim or something…
Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County (1998)
Before there was a Blair Witch, there was this faux-found-footage made-for-TV movie where a family is attacked and abducted by aliens in the middle of their Thanksgiving dinner. Needless to say, there must have been a lot of leftovers. Sounds pretty lame (apparently people were more naïve in those days), but to avoid widespread panic in the streets, the Lake County Sheriff had to issue a statement that the movie was a work of fiction and not a documentary. Orson Welles, wherever he may be, is laughing.
Blood Rage (1987)
When you have a set of twins in a movie, you know one or both of them has to be evil, and it’s certainly the case in Blood Rage. Poor Todd was wrongfully institutionalized after being framed for murder by his evil twin brother, Terry. Now 10 years later, Todd escapes on Thanksgiving Day and makes a beeline for home with the single-minded goal of getting revenge on his brother. But Terry has plans of his own – he didn’t get to be the evil twin for nothing! Blood and rage are both certainly going to be involved.
It’s purely an unexpected bonus that the actor playing the twins (Mark Soper) delivers a surprisingly good performance (or at least better than you’d expect in a cheap slasher film), and Louise Lasser is delightful as the twins’ crazy drunken mother.
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I hope that’s enough inspiration to whet your appetite for Turkey Day Terror through the long weekend. Thanksgiving may not be well represented in the Holiday Horror genre, but I’m sure you can find something on this list that will bring joy to your holiday celebration!